Doubtless
by LobaLu
Summary: What happens when darkness blooms from the doubts of a doubtless heart? Everything should be perfect now that Kairi, Riku, and Sora are back on the islands together, but Kairi is left with questions that Sora isn't answering—and a new Nobody surfaces.
1. Dismissal

A/N: _The Saltwater Room_ by Owl City sums up this story pretty well. Enjoy!

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Part 1: Dismissal

I ran the pointed edges of my lucky charm along my fingers and smiled to myself. How long had I watched and waited for its safe return? And how many times had I wondered if that day would ever come?

Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes, and I swallowed hard.

Could it really be true? Could this really be more than just a dream? If I ran down to the north beach of the old island, would I really find Riku and Sora lounging on the shore or standing in the lapping waves?

It was something that I'd been waiting for for some time now. Those first couple days had been long. But Sora's parents had wanted to spend time with him, and so had anybody and everybody else who'd looked up and wondered where he'd gone at some point during the last two years.

But now he was mine. At last.

I broke into a run. The noon ferry would be leaving soon.

When I reached the dock, Denei greeted me as always. "Geez, you goin' out to that island again, Kairi?" His denim-grey eyes twinkled down at mine. My eldest cousin always loved to tease me whenever he got the chance.

I smiled. "'Course," I said, leaping onto the ferry boat. "My shift's finally over, and I've got the rest of the day to do whatever I want."

"Oh, yeah. How's working at the store?"

I shrugged. "Fine. How's working the ferry?"

He grinned and headed to the bow of the steam boat. "Great," he said. "You know, I sure am seeing a lot more of you, lately."

I smiled and laughed. I could've just taken my canoe out to the island, like I had when I was a kid, but now that the ferry was up and running, it seemed kind of silly to paddle all the way out there. Even if Denei was a little nosy at times.

"Seems to my you've acquired a taste for travel," he went on. I was grateful when he was greeted by another passenger, and his attention was diverted.

Finally, we shoved off. The boat glided easily across the glass-smooth surface of the sea, toward the other islands that were part of the Destiny chain. My island would be last, because it was tiny and nobody lived there anymore.

When it came to the dock at last, I leapt from the deck and onto the dock. Then I was off.

"Hey, what's the rush?" Denei shouted after me, laughing, as always. "Sora ain't goin' anywhere!"

I couldn't agree with that. "Um, see you, Denei!" I shouted back at him, and then ran across the snow-white sand towards the other side of the island. My heart pounded in my ribcage, as it always did, when it got closer and closer to his...

The brilliant blue sky touched the bright blue ocean all along the never-ending horizon line. Tall palm trees cast flickering shadows over the white sand, giving occasional relief from the hot, high noon sun.

I could see the curvature of the island as I ran, and as I ran my stride grew longer and my breath came easier. It was like gravity, now. Gravity was pulling me forward. My heart pounded faster. _Thud, thud, thud. Sora, Sora, Sora._

"Riku!"

He came out of the shadows, smiling gently. His long, strangely silvery hair fell into his eyes and around his shoulders. His arms were folded, but his expression was gentle.

"Hey, Kairi," He said, walking towards me.

"I didn't see you at first," I said. "What are you doing out here by yourself?"

"Thinking," he said with a shrug. "What about you?"

My lips curved upward. "I was looking for you."

"And Sora," he added teasingly.

"Yeah," I admitted, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Well, come on," Riku said, walking out onto the beach. "I think he's beating the crap out of Tidus with that stupid wooden sword. We'd better save the kid."

I giggled. I grasped Riku's big, warm hand in my own and we set off down the beach.

"So... how's he doing today?" I wondered aloud, trying, again, to sound indifferent.

"Mmm, better, I think," Riku said. "He hasn't said anything about Donald and Goofy yet, anyway."

"That's good," I said, but I frowned. I knew how much Sora missed his friends and their adventures. My constant concern was that he would leave to go seek them out. And he had only just returned home a week ago.

Riku's hand tightened around mine, which was a nice, innocent gesture in my mind. Holding hands had always been a part of our friendship. Sora had always held my hand, too.

We came around the corner, and suddenly, a wave of relief washed over my body, clearing my head and leaving moisture behind my eyelids. I smiled. His sun-bleached hair stuck out in every direction, and he stood tall on the sand, swinging a wooden sword around in his left hand. He tossed it deftly to his right, then stepped lightly out of the way of his opponent's jab. Tidus was sweaty and panting, whereas Sora was completely at ease.

"Sora!" Riku shouted in greeting.

He turned around, nodded at Riku, and then his deep blue eyes widened as they met mine. They were large and round, the color of the sea, and always filled with such sincerity, such honesty, such simple love. At least that was always the way they looked when I could see them. I sighed with happiness. I could look into those eyes forever.

He smiled widely, the smile I loved, and he stood as though he were rooted to the ground.

Suddenly, Tidus lunged at him while his back was turned. In an instant, Sora's keyblade materialized in his empty left hand, his expression hardened, and he whirled and blocked the jab in one instantaneous movement.

Tidus was thrown off his feet and into the soft white sand, a good fifteen feet from where he'd been standing. "Ow!" He complained.

"Ha, ha, ha!" Wakka laughed. "Serves you right, man!"

"Sorry, Tidus," Sora said, and the shining black keyblade disappeared, leaving his fingers clutching the empty air. "Couldn't help it."

"You shouldn't attack an opponent when his back is turned," Riku criticized, leaving my side. We'd reached the group now, and could see the petulant frown on Tidus's young face.

"Well you shouldn't turn around to say hi to your girlfriend during a match, either," the boy grumbled, rubbing his head with one hand.

Sora blushed deeply, his expression rueful. He turned and pretended to be looking out to sea to hide his face from his friends.

_Girlfriend_? The term seemed so... casual. Didn't he feel about me the same way I felt about him - our destinies ever intertwined, never to leave one another's side for the rest of forever?

_Of course,_ I thought. That was just a term that Wakka had invented up. Why, I wasn't sure, because as of right now, there wasn't much hinting that Sora and I were together like that.

"Maybe, maybe not," Riku was saying to the disgruntled Tidus, "But it looked like the match was pretty much over to me." His loyalty to Sora was unwavering. Sora turned, and they smiled at one another, the way only the truest of friends can. I felt a little left out. There was so much that Riku shared with Sora. They'd defeated Xemnas together; they'd escaped the realm of darkness together. The bond between them was so strong, now.

"Whatever," Tidus grumbled. "You guys and your rules." He shook his head angrily.

"Don't be such a sore loser, Tidus," Selphie said, putting her hands on her hips. Her light brown hair fell around her face and curled upward neatly, but tufted in the back, giving her the appearance of a little girl. She smiled at me. We'd been friends for so long, and now she was letting me know that if my loyalties rested with Sora and Riku, hers did too.

I smiled back at her.

I spent the rest of the afternoon out in the shallow water. The boys took a canoe out further to go diving, while Selphie and I walked along the beach, picking up shells and enjoying the warm sand and water between our toes.

Eventually, Sora and Riku came gliding toward the dock in their canoe. Wakka and Tidus weren't far behind them. Suddenly, their boat wobbled, and though they both leaned the opposite direction, the canoe capsized in the shallow water. Riku and Sora disappeared beneath the surface for a moment, and then their heads sprung up, water streaming from their long hair.

"Ack!" Riku shouted, and suddenly the air was full of tiny droplets as he shook his head back and forth like a dog.

"Way to go, _Riku_," Sora laughed, a huge grin spreading across his face. Riku scowled and swung a misaimed punch at him, which Sora neatly dodged. I laughed.

Sora turned and ran, sending white spray flying out behind him as he moved, surprisingly fast, through the shallow water. Riku took after him, struggling in his long, heavy jeans, but gaining on him nonetheless.

Before long Riku tackled Sora, sending up a wave of glittering water.

Laughing and sputtering, Sora's face surfaced, and his mouth opened like a fish's to swallow a lung-full of air. Then he was down again, as the palm of Riku's hand came down on the back of his head to hold his face under the water.

"Riku, don't drown him!" I protested, suddenly anxious.

Riku smirked at me, then released Sora's head.

Sora suddenly flipped Riku over and, after placing his wide hands under the surface, threw a wave of water over his best friend's silver head. Riku gasped and splashed another wave at Sora, which he dodged.

Then the air was full of white water. Wakka and Tidus appeared, each holding a squirt gun, and the war was on.

Suddenly, I felt something hit the back of my head, and a wave of water flew over my head and completely saturated my clothes and hair. Gasping and dripping, I whirled around to see Selphie with a water balloon in her hand. She smiled. "Sorry, Kairi," she giggled. "I couldn't help it!"

"You little-" I gasped, but before I could say another word, she threw the other balloon at me, which exploded on my shoulder and soaked my sleeve.

"That's it!" I shouted, and ran over to her pack. Sure enough, it was full of balloons. I snatched three of them and took off after her. Her scream carried across the beach, as well as the laughs and shouts of the boys.

Six o'clock rolled around, and the sunset found us lined up on the white sand, soaking wet, and listening to the steady rush of the ocean and the cries of the gulls overhead. The war had ended an hour ago, and now we were content to merely enjoy one another's company.

I looked wistfully at Sora, who was sitting beside Riku and Wakka and smiling at what somebody had just said. I was by Selphie and Tidus, and I couldn't help but wish that the seating arrangements were a little different. Didn't Sora even want to sit by me? I imagined what it would feel like to hold his hand in mine in the warm sand...

We all watched the ferry boat get closer and closer, a little sadly. It seemed like these sunny days on the island never lasted long enough. If only we could be like this together for always.

As we stood to leave, I tried to catch Sora's eye. Maybe we could sit together on the ride back.

But he only looked on, smiled at Wakka, and headed off without me. I sighed.

~o~

"C'mon guys, let's play soccer now," Tidus suggested. It was the next day, and it was hot. All of us were lounging in the shade of the trees, bored. "I brought a new ball, since Riku popped the last one," he added with a laugh.

"Nah man, it's too hot," Wakka complained.

"C'mon, guys," Selphie said. "I have a surprise in my pack. After the game, we can cool off with some sea salt ice cream!" She giggled. "There's ice in there, so it's still frozen."

Now everyone agreed to play, Sora with the rest, although a little less exuberantly. I smiled, because I already knew why. He was muscled, lean, and as nimble as a deer, but wasn't much into playing ball. And he hated to lose at anything.

We were quickly divided into teams. Riku was captain of one, and Sora was captain of the other. Riku got first pick, like always, and surprised me by picking me first. I wasn't very good at soccer, so I raised an eyebrow at him on my way across the sand. He only looked innocently up at Sora for his first pick. I turned around quickly, but whatever emotion had been on Sora's face was now cleanly erased.

Sora hastily chose Tidus - a peacemaking move, I guessed.

Riku chose Selphie next. I was more intrigued than ever. Why would Riku want a team of talentless girls?

Wakka was the last to be chosen, but not because he wasn't any good. He had a powerful kick, and a volleyball spike that could smash your face in. Sora called him over, excited that Riku had chosen chivalry over valuable players.

"Okay let's do this," he said, rubbing his hands together. He was confident in his ability to win, now.

Before long, we were laughing and kicking the ball down the beach. Right now, it was making rapid progress toward our goal, which was the trunk of a stray palm tree and a boulder. Wakka had the ball, and was doing some fancy footwork to get around Riku.

Selphie was guarding the goal, and so it was up to me to stop Wakka if he got around Riku. I smiled at the hopelessness of that situation.

Suddenly, Wakka gave the ball a powerful kick. It shot through Riku's legs and toward me like a bullet. I kicked it as hard as I could, and giggled as I watched it sail over everybody's heads and into the palm grove.

"Out of bounds," Wakka said lazily. "Go get it, Sora."

"You go get it," Sora said, surprised that he'd been singled out as the ball fetcher.

"Aw, somebody just get it," Riku said, rolling his eyes.

"I'll go," I surrendered, and started walking toward the palm grove, as it was my kick that had sent the ball astray. Suddenly, Sora, who blushed a little and ducked his head, jumped ahead of me and mumbled, "That's okay, I'll get it, Kairi," and before I could respond was running across the sand.

"Nice kick, Kairi," Riku said, reclaiming my attention. He was grinning, his hair falling into his eyes as usual.

I smiled. "Next time I'll try and put it to good use," I said.

Riku looked after Sora's retreating form, and I did, too. His run was lithe and smooth, his body lean and graceful.

I wondered, again, what was going on between Sora and myself. Why had our relationship changed? I knew that I needed to talk to him about it. I _wanted_ to talk to him about it, but I couldn't, because we were never alone together. It seemed like I'd never get an answer, that I'd never understand.

Suddenly, I had an inspiration.

"Oh, I just remembered, I forgot something on the other beach," I said, turning to look at my friends. They didn't seem surprised, and so I told them I'd be right back and ran along the beach as fast as I could. When I could no longer see the group, I changed directions and ran into the trees.

I hurried along through the palm trees, until I was sure I'd reached the place where the ball had flown. I looked around, all the while listening for a footstep or a rustling of ferns.

Then I saw it, sitting in a patch of grass between two tall trees. I wondered why Sora hadn't found it yet.

I stood in the shade with the ball in my hands, waiting and wondering. My heart began to beat a little unevenly as I thought about it - being here, alone, with Sora. I swallowed loudly.

And suddenly, he appeared between two trees, without a sound to announce his arrival. He paused to look back and forth, squinting his beautiful eyes against the sun, and then he saw me.

His hands fell to his sides, and his eyes widened.

"Umm, wow, you're fast, Kairi," he said, looking a little confused.

I smiled and walked toward him. My heart beat so loudly that I was sure he could hear it, but I didn't lose my cool.

"Yeah. I did say I'd get it," I said, smiling and lifting the ball in my hands.

"Oh, yeah, well... you didn't have to do that," Sora murmured, eyebrows raised.

I studied him for a moment, then said, "No, I really think I did."

I could tell that he was very confused. Did he really find it that strange that I would want to talk to him alone?

"Sora," I began, "do you remember that night, that sunset before the big storm? Before the islands were tied to the darkness, before we were all separated? Remember how we were getting ready to set sail together?"

"Yeah," he said, surprised at the change of conversation. He smiled. "How could I forget it? It was... all I had, in the beginning. All I had left of... you." He looked down, embarrassed.

"Remember what I asked you to do?"

He cocked his head, and his expression was so dear and familiar that I had to fight the urge to stroke his face with one hand.

"You wanted to leave right away, just me and you," he recalled, laughing fondly.

I giggled. "Well, yeah, but... I asked you something. I asked you not to change. I didn't want you to change, like Riku had."

"Yeah, I remember," he said gently.

We were silent for a moment, remembering Riku's sudden lust for adventure, his thirst for the unknown. No, Sora had not changed like that. Not that drastically. But still...

"You did change, Sora."

Sora raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Well, yeah, I guess I am a little taller." He smirked at me.

I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I meant."

"I know." He shook his head, embarrassed again. "But Kairi, I've been through... a lot. So many things have _happened_ since then. I went through a lot of... challenges, a lot of dark times… a lot of stuff a kid shouldn't have to go through. I had to change, or else I wouldn't have... made it through it all."

"I... I know," I said, a little fear leaking into my voice. "But... you weren't alone, not really. You still had friends to comfort you," I said, speaking of Riku and myself. After all, we still lived inside one another's hearts, even now.

"Yeah," he said, brightening. "Donald and Goofy never left my side. I guess that's what kept me going. They were always there."

All my fears came to the surface. He didn't need me anymore. He had other friends, so he'd let me go. It was what I'd been afraid of all along.

"So..." I paused, still afraid of what he'd say, but still - I had to know. "You've... changed. I... understand."

He was silent. I looked at the ground, where I'd dropped the long forgotten soccer ball. A torrent of painful emotions ran through me, but I did my best to hide them.

"Sora..." I murmured, "I was never really lost to you at all. Remember? I was with you all along." I put my hand on my heart. "You didn't need to let go... I mean, unless you wanted to..." my eyes prickled and my throat constricted. "I... I guess I understand if you... don't..."

"Kairi!" Sora said, in a confused, anguished voice. "What's wrong?"

I looked up at him. Though his face had lost some of its cherubic roundess over the past two years, it was still blatantly recognizable. After all, how many times had I closed my eyes and traced it through the distance of time and space? It was still the face I loved. And I wanted to touch it so, so badly.

His beautiful eyes were filled with anxiety, and his expression was so sad that I couldn't help it anymore. "Oh, Sora..." I whispered.

And then my arms were around his wide, strong shoulders, my cheek pressed against his. And just like the time I'd hugged him in the World That Never Was, when we'd finally been reunited, his touch was so hesitant, so unsure. He touched my back uncertainly. His body was stiff under mine.

I knew now that he didn't want this. But how could I deny myself of it, after wanting it for so long? Even though he didn't want me, he'd just have to deal with this. He owed me that much, didn't he?

I turned my head, and took his lips in mine.

It was like kissing a statue. A very warm, beautiful, sweet smelling statue, whose eyes were wide open and eyebrows were raised to the heavens. I ran my hand along his cheek, savoring the taste of his lips for another brief moment. It was better than I had ever imagined… then, though it was almost painful to do so, I pulled my face away from his.

I didn't look at him again. With tears stinging my eyes, I turned and ran away. I wasn't really sure where I was going, but after a while I found myself in a secluded grove of palm trees.

It was there that I sank to the ground, gasping for breath and trying to staunch the flow of blood that seemed to be pouring from my heart.

I'd waited for this boy for so long, waited and watched, and even been kidnapped for him. I had been glad to wait, glad to take anything that was thrown at me for his sake. I loved him. I always would.

He'd made me a promise, a promise to come back. A promise that he'd kept... physically. And so I couldn't be angry at him, not really. His rejection only pierced this vast, gaping hole in my heart, but still, I couldn't blame him. No, it was myself that I was angry at.

I should have known that things couldn't always be the same between us. The way that they were, before he'd been taken from me. Those days seemed like so long ago that they were almost part of someone else's life. He'd moved on now, past that silly little crush of long ago. Of course he had.

Another part of me screamed that it couldn't be true. It hadn't been just a little crush. It was much stronger. Sora loved me.

Didn't he?

Some time later I realized that it was nearly dark. Stars hung over my head, and I could hear the calm, peaceful _whoooshhhh_ of the waves lapping in and out on the beach. The soft glow of what was left of the setting sun glowed on the horizon.

I knew I had to go home. My parents would wonder where I was. And Denei would be worried, too.

I got unsteadily to my feet and brushed the sand from my legs and skirt. I ran a hand through my short, tousled dark red hair, then wiped away the leftover tears off my face. I was sure I looked awful. Denei would know that something was wrong, and this was something that I didn't want to tell anyone about.

I saw the boat up against the dock long before I emerged onto the beach. Denei was sitting on the deck, reading a book serenely. He looked up when I came closer.

"You didn't have to wait for me, Denei," I said, trying with all my might to keep my voice steady.

"Oh, that's alright," he said, seeming, despite my efforts, to sense that something was wrong. "I knew you were around here somewhere, when you missed the six o'clock ferry. I figured I'd just come back for you, since I had nothing better to do."

I smiled weakly, and accepted his hand onto the deck.


	2. Toxicity

Part 2: Toxicity

It was dark, very dark. Black, in fact, and I could smell a sickening musty odor in the dank air.

Where was I? Certainly not in a place I wanted to be. I heard a strange rustling sound, and the hair on the back of my neck stood straight up. Goosebumps tickled their way up my arms and legs.

"Kairi, Kairi."

I whirled around and saw a strange person standing not far from me. Her hair was long and black as pitch, and there was something familiar about her facial features... but they were oddly distorted somehow. She wore a long black cloak.

Who was she? Someone dear… someone important…

"Naminé?" I whispered, unable to believe what I could see right in front of me.

"Yeah right," she said, and gave a mocking, sarcastic laugh. "My name is Axeas."

"Axeas?"

"Yes."

"What..." I swallowed hard. "What do you want from me? Where am I?"

"You're in the realm of darkness, obviously."

I shivered and looked around me. Yes, that must be true. What other place could be so impossibly dark, where I was still able to see my hand in front of me, bright as day?

She was not as bright as I was, but I could see her clearly. "I've been waiting to see you a long time, Kairi," she said slowly.

"Waiting... for me?"

"Yes. You're such a constant little thing, so full of faith, so doubtless." Her eyes were hungry and speculative as they raked over my shivering figure. "Usually."

I scowled at her. I wasn't sure what she meant, but I was sure it wasn't a compliment. "Usually?"

She laughed softly. The sound of it sent chills through my body. "Yes," she said coldly. "If you were always little miss perfect, then I wouldn't be like this now. I used to be some kind of oddball… I practically had a heart. But now, I'm just like any other Nobody."

"I don't get you," I said, my eyes narrowing with distaste.

She laughed again, that horrible sound. "Obviously," she sneered. "So you answer this for yourself - why is it that I _am_ here, Kairi? Because _I_ already know."

"Then why are you - I – I don't know what you - I don't understand - what's going on!" I nearly shouted, balling my hands into fists. "Just give it to me straight!"

"No. You know, you're very simple and _very_ naive. You're a lot like _he_ is."

I glared at her, hatred boiling inside me. "Who?" I seethed.

"Sora," she said simply. "But that doesn't seem to matter anymore, does it?"

It was silent for a few moments, silent as the darkness surrounding us was devoid of light.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said firmly, looking away from her bitter face. There was something about her eyes that seemed to suck the happiness right out of me, though they were identical to mine in shape and color.

"Of course you do. You're the one who figured it out in the first place."

I glared at her, hating her, if possible, even more.

"We can wait here forever, for you to answer me," Axeas said, lazily examining her fingers. "Nobody will miss you. _He_ certainly won't."

"Yes he will," I said. I meant to sound strong and sure, but there was a catch in my voice.

She snickered. "You don't sound so positive about that, Kairi."

"I am!" I shouted. My voice echoed through the blackness.

"No you're not," she said firmly. "And I can see why. All this time... all this dreaming and _longing_ to meet Sora again... and now you find out that while you've been faithfully awaiting his return, he's been off doing who knows what, making new friends, finding new ways to enjoy himself. My, my. How does it feel to be left behind, in the dust, Kairi? You tell me."

"Shut _up_!" I snarled.

"Oooh, the angel decides to descend to my level," she sneered. "C'mon, Kairi. You've known it all along, ever since you saw how much he'd changed. You've just been in denial. You're still in denial. Can you keep it up? Or are you going to grow up and face the facts?"

"_I said shut up_!" I shrieked.

"Oh, get a grip. I'm only telling you things that you've already told yourself. He doesn't need you anymore! What are you, next to the keyblade's chosen one? Just a skinny little girl with nothing to be, nowhere to go!"

"No," I gasped. "No..."

"Yes. Maybe he'll find someone else, someone who deserves him. Who knows? Maybe he already has..."

I moaned and wrapped my arms around my middle, trying to hold myself together. "You're wrong," I whispered, but it was a shrinking hope, a fading light in the darkness. "Sora loves me."

"Loves you? You wish," she said shortly, and her voice filled me with hopelessness. "You're only holding him down, keeping him back." Her eyes pierced me, and a cruel smile twisted her unpleasant face.

"He loves me," I repeated, but my voice was wispy and frail.

"He doesn't love you. He hates you. He wishes you'd just leave him alone."

"You're a liar," I whispered. "You're a liar and you're just trying to hurt me."

She shrugged. "I'm not a liar. I'm a Nobody." Another wicked grin twisted her mouth. "Yours."

~o~

"Noooo!"

I shot up from my twisted cocoon of sheets, shaking and gasping for breath in the semi-darkness. I was in my bed, and I could see a faint glow on the horizon out my bedroom window. I stifled a sob.

"Naminé," I whispered. Naminé was my Nobody. Who was this awful Axeas, this twisted shadow of Naminé's glowing perfection?

This didn't make any sense. Naminé wasn't a being anymore. She wasn't entirely gone, she was still a part of me; I knew that. But she couldn't speak to me, physically, like that... unless...

Unless it all had been... just a dream?

No. It had been far too real for that.

What then, had happened to Naminé? The Naminé that I had known had filled me with hope and light and love, rather than bleak despair. Who was this being, this Axeas? Of what horrible desolation had she been born? And why had she appeared to me like that?

I shivered and got out of bed. As I walked across my bedroom floor to get to my closet, however, a wave of nausea rolled over me, and I fell to my knees, gasping. My head spun, and my heart was suddenly filled with an emptiness and a fear so intense that I couldn't breathe. Axeas.

"Leave me alone," I hissed through my teeth, and as suddenly as it had come, it was gone. I got unsteadily to my feet.

I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. It was early, and my parents weren't up yet. I sat down on a kitchen chair, trying not to think... trying to block out the horrible doubts that kept popping into my mind...

"_How does it feel to be left behind in the dust, Kairi?... What are you, next to the keyblade's chosen one? Maybe he'll find someone else, someone who deserves him. Who knows? Maybe he already has..."_

I pressed my fists into my temples, trying to drown her out. Then I stood up and snatched my pack off the hook in the wall.

"I'm going to work now," I told her. "Don't follow me."

~o~

It had been a week now, since I'd been out to the island. Life had gone back to normal, for the most part – work, chores, friends. Well... some of them, anyway. Selphie, mostly. I hadn't seen any of the boys around, though. They spent all their free time out on the island.

And I hadn't seen Sora.

I was afraid. Afraid that Axeas was right. Even though I knew she was my enemy and wanted to cause me pain, I couldn't help wondering.

And what would I say to him, after... all that had passed between us? I blushed at the very thought.

I was walking home from work in the afternoon. A light breeze was coming in from the sea, bringing with it the tang of salty air. It was warm and dry, and I closed my eyes for a moment, breathing it in and listening to the rushing sound it made as it meandered through the palm trees. I sighed.

"Kairi."

I turned. It was Riku, coming up the cobblestoned path. The breeze tossed his hair out of his eyes, and they glowed a deep cyan in the sunlight. I'd always thought they were the color of the sea in shallow waters, on white sand, whereas Sora's were the color of the deepest ocean.

I winced involuntarily as the name passed through my mind.

"Hi, Riku."

"Where have you been?" He wanted to know, as he came to a halt in front of me. "You haven't been out to the island in days."

"I know."

We were quiet for a few moments. Suddenly, he surprised me by being perceptive.

"Um, Kairi? Is this about Sora?"

I flinched again. How did he know? Did Sora tell him? "What do you mean?" I asked slowly.

"Well, he just said that you're... upset. That's all," he added hastily.

"Did he tell you why?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No."

I sighed and started walking again. Riku walked along with me, more quietly. Though I could feel his curiosity, he said nothing.

"Riku, don't worry about me," I finally said. "It was hard at first, but I'm alright now. Sora's changed. But we can still be friends. I was silly for expecting anything more from him, after all this time." As soon as these words were out, I regretted saying them. I was giving in, ever so slightly, to Axeas. I bit my lip.

"What do you mean by that?" Riku asked, raising an eyebrow at me. "Sora's had a huge crush on you since forever."

I smiled a tiny bit. "A crush," I allowed with a sigh. "He had a crush." Again, I wished I hadn't said it. It felt like she was pulling me down, putting words in my mouth.

"Yeah," Riku said, giving me a strange look. He slowed to a stop, and I stopped with him. We listened to the rush of the palms above, and the distant yet audible rush of the sea on the sands below.

"Why don't you come out to the island tomorrow?" Riku suddenly asked. "The weather's going to be nice, and you haven't seen the gang in forever."

"I don't know about that, Riku..."

"Why not? I thought you were going to be Sora's 'friend', now," he said, smirking. "You'd better get on that."

I scowled at him, and he laughed.

"So you're a little 'upset' with him," he said casually, brushing the hair from his eyes. "That doesn't mean you shouldn't go out to the island ever again. It's not Sora's island. He can't keep you off it. Or are you gonna let him?"

I glared at him.

He laughed again. "See you on the dock, tomorrow at noon," he said, backing away from me a few steps. He turned and gave me an appraising look before jogging back down the hill. "I know you'll be there, Kairi," he shouted as he ran.

I huffed a sigh.

~o~

I finally finished stocking the shelves, and then slid one last price tag into its slot. The morning rush had long since passed, and Abbi and I were alone in the store. There was nothing to do but clean up and maintain the place, so I had no excuse for staying longer.

I looked nervously at the large clock hanging over the desk. It was eleven forty-five. My shift was over.

"I'm heading out now, Abbi," I said, taking off my apron and putting it under the desk.

"Okay," she called from somewhere in the sea of isles. "See you, Kairi."

I went slowly to the docks, thinking about what Riku had said yesterday. His confidence in me left me feeling a little irritated. What made him think that I would do whatever he said, just because he said it?

And yet here I was.

Why was I doing this? Sora didn't want me out there. He was probably relieved that I hadn't gone out in so long.

_Shut up, Axeas_, I snarled in my head. I felt her smirk.

Riku greeted me on the dock with a smug grin. No one else from the gang was sailing out with us today - they were already there. They spent every moment of every day there, unlike myself.

The weather was very nice and the sea was smooth, so the sail to the island didn't take long. Riku and I didn't say much. Denei chatted away, filling in all our silences.

When we got off the boat, we started walking toward the other beach, where I knew the gang would be waiting. For some reason, I could hardly put one foot in front of the other. I was scared. So, so scared.

"Riku," I said, stopping in my tracks. "I can't do this."

He turned and looked at me. "Can't do what?"

"I can't see him. I just can't."

He didn't respond. Then, suddenly, he lifted his fingers to my face and brushed a tear from my cheek. I was surprised. I hadn't felt it escape.

"Riku," I moaned, "I don't know what to do."

"Well," he said, after a long pause, "Let's go sit in the shade for a while. Until you're ready."

"Thank you," I breathed.

We sat still and silent for a long time. I closed my eyes, but there was no escaping the pain.

"What is it that you want from him," Riku suddenly asked, in a slow, careful voice, "that he can't give you?"

I was taken by surprise. "What do you mean?"

"If you're upset, there must be a reason for it."

I thought about that. "Well, I guess... what started it," I swallowed hard, "was the fact that... he didn't seem as... happy? Happy to see me as I was to see him. He didn't... I don't know... I guess that I figured we'd be holding hands and-" I blushed. "I don't know. I guess I just thought that we'd be closer than we've ever been. But now we're even further apart. I'm worried that... that he doesn't want me anymore." I tried to make it sound a little less traumatic than it really was.

"So, let me get this straight..." Riku said, "You're mad at him because you think he's lost interest in you?"

"Not _mad_ at him. Just worried." What an understatement. Panicked, more like. Haunted by a bitter Nobody. Completely freaked out.

"You're lonely. You need attention." It was a statement, not a question.

"Attention?"

"Yeah. I understand what you mean, Kairi. You spend a year and a half, waiting and watching and searching for someone, and then when they come back, they act like nothing ever happened. It makes sense that you're upset."

I felt a tiny bit of hope as I looked into his eyes. Riku was older than Sora and I. Wiser. There was something reassuring about the maturity of his voice, the depth of his eyes. Would he have the answer?

"I know how you feel."

I stared at him, uncomprehending. "How would you?" I asked.

"Because I've felt the same way before. I still do." He was looking out to sea now, away from me.

I was even more puzzled. Who had he waited and searched for, for a year and a half, besides Sora and I?

"About... who?" I murmured, though he was still looking away. It was quiet for a long moment. The sea was the only one speaking.

"When you lost your heart..." he swallowed hard, "I was so afraid. I was afraid that you were lost forever. I would have given anything to get your heart back for you, to save you... I _tried_ giving everything to get it back. But in the end it wasn't enough. Because it wasn't my place. Your heart was with Sora all along, and what I had been trying to do for so long, he did in no time at all. Because it was his place to do it."

I was watching him curiously now. "Thank you," I said slowly. "Thank you for trying so hard, Riku. You're a true friend."

"Well… maybe." He looked out to sea for a minute.

Suddenly, he turned and put his hand on my cheek. It was warm, resting there, a little unnaturally warm. I could see a fire burning inside him through his bright blue eyes.

"Kairi," he said, his face serious and thoughtful, "It really doesn't have to be this way. For either of us."

"What - what do you mean?" I whispered. I was very aware of the hand that still rested against my cheek.

"We could end it right now. The loneliness."

He was way too close now. I could see every spiral and line in his aqua eyes.

I felt as though an electric current passed through my body as he leaned forward and touched his lips to mine. He was very gentle, very hesitant - waiting for my response.

But I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. My head was spinning, making it difficult for me to think. How could this be happening? How could Riku, my older, wiser friend, who had always been so _brotherly_ toward me - be kissing me?

It was just so confusing. It felt so strange, that this could be happening, after I'd spent so long fantasizing about what Sora's lips would taste like, what it would feel like to hold him in my arms. And now there was someone else, someone very different... but I _liked_ it. It was something that I'd wanted now for so long.

In spite of myself, I leaned into him just a tiny bit and traced the contours of his lips with my own. His arms wound around my back, and I liked the way they felt big and thick and strong. I put my hands on his broad shoulders and sighed. His skin felt warm against mine, almost hot.

And then, I saw a face in my head. The deep, huge blue eyes were filled with pain, the mouth open in shock, the eyebrows raised with disbelief. Sora stumbled back, away from me, and my heart seared with fresh pain.

"Riku..." I gasped, pulling myself away from him. He didn't try to stop me. He opened his eyes, and they were filled with a new kind of hurt.

Remorse. Regret.

He sighed and closed them again, then leaned back on his heels and dropped his arms.

"Riku," I said slowly, trying to halt the steady flow of tears that were welling up in my eyes. "This is wrong."

He didn't look directly at me as he murmured, "I... I know. I'm sorry, Kairi."

"Don't be. Why didn't you ever tell me?" I whispered.

"Because... Sora's my best friend." He laughed, but it was a sad sound. "He always has been. Just like both of us have always had a crush on you. Some things never change."

The world was crashing down on me; I just couldn't handle the truth. "I never knew," I wailed.

"I never wanted you to," Riku said. "I just... for a second there... wondered if things had... changed. But they haven't," he assured me with a sad smile. "You two belong together. I can see that now."

"But what if we don't?" I whimpered. "What if he doesn't love me anymore, Riku?"

Riku sat still for a moment, his face filled with bitterness. I didn't like to see it there. It wasn't meant to be there. It wasn't _Riku_. Not anymore at least.

Then, I watched as his the frost in his eyes began to melt, the hard twist of his features began to soften. His eyelids came together, and he suddenly gave a relaxed, peaceful sigh. When he opened his eyes again, they were filled with warmth and trust. Understanding, too.

"Kairi, stand up," he commanded, getting to his feet. He took my hands in his, and pulled me up, though my legs felt like jelly.

He gestured outward with his hand. "Look at this beach, the ocean, the skyline, Kairi. This is proof enough. If he didn't love you, it wouldn't be here. It would still be lost in the darkness." He grasped my face in his. "I look at you, and do you know what I see?"

"What?" I wept.

"I see more proof of his love for you. Had he not unlocked his own heart with my keyblade, yours would have never been returned to you."

I sniffed.

"And then, I see him," Riku said softly. "I see him, here, in the Destiny islands. He misses his friends, of course. But his love for you is much greater. It is great enough to keep him here, forever."

"He loves you, too," I whispered, smiling softly. "You're his best friend."

"Yeah. But what's a best friend compared to the girl of his dreams, the keeper of his heart?" He smiled. "He just doesn't know how to tell you that. Maybe he thinks you already know it."

Of course I knew it. I always had. I didn't need Sora to tell me that. He'd already proved it.

"He deserves you, Kairi," Riku said, closing his eyes again. "And you deserve him. Don't let anybody or anything take him away from you again."

"I've got to go to him," I said, whirling around. "I've got to apologize. I was so stupid."

Riku was silent for a moment, and I saw fresh pain written clearly across his face.

"Oh, Riku," I said, grabbing his hands in my own and pressing them to my face. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's not your fault. I didn't realize how painful that would be... for both of us."

"I'll always love you, you know," I murmured, still holding his hands.

"I'll love you too," he said softly. "But now I... I'll love you in a better way. I promise. And besides," he shrugged, "Time heals all wounds. At least that's what everybody says." He sighed. "You won't see that side of me again, I swear."

"You don't have to promise me anything," I said.

He grimaced. "Actually, I think I do."

I cried, holding his hands to my face, for a long time. Finally, I kissed his fingers and sighed. "I have to go to him, Riku."

"I know. I'll come with you." He gave me a weak smile.

I decided that if he could forget it and move on, I could too. "C'mon," I said brightly, smiling back at him. "Our friends need us! Sora needs us!" It was more painful than I'd imagined. How could we go through with this?

"Yeah," he laughed. "I guess there's always that."

"And Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For helping me find myself again."

He smiled and gently touched my cheek with the ends of his fingers. "Glad to be of service," he teased.

I smiled. He'd be himself again soon. Of that I was almost certain.

He reached out and grabbed my hand as we ran toward Sora, toward our friends and the future. I felt an overwhelming feeling of love towards him. Love for my dear friend. Hope that he could understand that love, and feel it in equal part for me.

Things would be different between us now, I knew that. But time would heal us, like Riku had said.

We came around the bend, and I could see them now. Sora. My heart leapt in my chest.


	3. Luminosity

Part 3: Luminosity

We were getting nearer now.

Was it just my imagination, or was the sun starting to dim?

Suddenly, I was vaguely aware of something... disconcerting... in my head. Something trying to smash its way through my world of happiness. Trying to break it to pieces. Trying to claw its way to the surface.

Axeas.

As soon as the name went through my head, my world came flying apart.

With a shriek that nearly rent me in half, Axeas came to life. A portal of darkness appeared in front of me, and she stepped out of it, her eyes glowing with the hatred that she couldn't really feel and her ebony hair flowing.

Riku let out a frightened shout, but with a single sweeping motion of Axeas's hand, he was flung away from us, and an impenetrable bubble of darkness encircled us. Just me and her.

"You!" I screamed. My hands curled into fists at my side.

"Yeah, me," she sneered. "The voice that tried to talk a little sense into you. You think you can get rid of me? Go ahead and try!"

I was ready to rip her apart with my bare hands, if that's what it took to get rid of her. But suddenly, I felt something heavy in my right hand, though nothing was there. I looked down, and was surprised to see my fingers curling involuntarily around something I couldn't see. Then, a keyblade materialized. _My _keyblade, with the waves on the handle and the flowers on the blade.

For a moment, her eyes flashed with an imitation of the fear she could not really feel. "The keyblade," she hissed. "Why do you wield it?"

There could be only one reason. "Don't you see?" I called across the bubble of darkness, triumph in my voice. "You were wrong! This proves it. Two hearts, residing inside one another! One destiny!"

The keyblade gleamed, and I could feel a definite warmth in the handle.

She gnashed her teeth together, then, with a shriek, flung herself toward me. With a flash of her arm, little silver daggers shot toward me, aimed at my heart.

But I was not afraid. I turned sideways and felt two of them whistle past me. The keyblade seemed to pull me onward, toward my enemy, and we shot toward her with incredible speed. Like the strike of a cobra, we met her in the middle, and I we caught her in the back with the tip of it. I could feel a tremendous force rushing through my limbs, enabling me to lift the heavy blade with ease.

She shrieked and spun around, her nostrils flaring. And then, in a flash, she drew a sleek black sword from a sheath beneath her robe. And then she lunged at me.

I heard a shout from somewhere outside of our little arena as I drew the keyblade in front of me just in time. With a metallic bang, the sword hit the blade and nearly knocked me flat. But the rebound knocked her over onto one knee. She recovered herself quickly.

We circled one another like animals, our teeth bared and our nostrils flaring.

"Aiee!" She screamed, lunging at me again.

This time, I leapt over her sword as she sped toward me and smacked her upside the head with the keyblade. Light came from it, and wisps of darkness began to sail from her form and into the air. She gasped, then dealt me a swift blow on the cheek with her fist.

I was knocked to the ground, and I saw stars. It felt like she'd broken my jaw. I looked up, my head in a whirl, to see the keyblade fly from my grasp and land in the sand a good eight feet away.

"I'm going to end this, now," Axeas snarled, her black hair swirling about her burning eyes as she pointed her sword at my chest. "Return our heart to the darkness, whence it came!"

Suddenly, I there was something heavy in my hand. It tingled, and the keyblade materialized beneath my fingers.

She stared at me in shock and disbelief, and that moment of hesitation was all I needed. Was all _we_ needed.

The keyblade in my hand shot toward her, and though it did not have a sharp edge, cut her in two from her waist to her left shoulder in a flash of golden light.

She looked at me for a brief moment, disbelief written clearly across her face.

"My heart belongs to me," I said triumphantly. "And never to the darkness!"

Darkness rose from her in wispy clouds of black and purple, until even her blank, shocked expression was gone, gone away from this bright and beautiful place forever. The dark bubble around us faded too, until only I stood on the battlefield, shaking and gasping for breath.

The keyblade vanished, and the weight was gone from my hands. The danger was passed.

A flash of bright white light nearly blinded me. I gazed around, shielding my eyes, looking for its source. I noticed a movement in my peripheral vision.

A girl with light blonde hair, wearing a tiny white dress and a serene expression stood not far from me. Her mouth curved into a gentle smile.

"Naminé!" I cried, running to her. She took my hands in hers.

"Kairi," she murmured. "I knew you could bring me back."

"Why did you go?" I asked her, fresh tears beginning to collect in the corners of my eyes.

"Doubts pushed me away." She continued upon seeing the puzzled look on my face. "See, you've always been so pure of heart that, when you actually lost your heart, no Nobody was created. Instead, I was created – some kind of freak Nobody – lacking all the elements of an ordinary Nobody. So when the doubts entered into your heart, a sort of Nobody _was_ created… up here," she tapped my forehead with one finger. "But it wasn't me. It was the ordinary Nobody that should've been created in the first place… if you had been an ordinary sort of person."

"Oh, Naminé," I wept, clutching at her hand. "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright now, Kairi. I'm me again, exactly how you remember me, rather than an echo of doubts. You see, I'm whatever is in your heart," she continued to smile sweetly. I knew it was true. Though I was still ashamed of my doubts, my heart was as pure as before.

"The doubts are all gone? Really?" I murmured, smiling through my tears.

Naminé cocked her head. "They could come back, if you let them. But I think I know a way to chase them off for good." She lifted her hands, and placed them on my forehead.

Suddenly, my friends standing a short distance away, incredulous, and Naminé, all disappeared.

I could see a much younger Riku, walking along the bridge with Sora, with a Paopu fruit in one hand. It was sunset, and we were just leaving our favorite spot to watch the glowing horizon cast bright red light over the sea.

"Sora, you wanted one, didn't you?" he said, his voice from so long ago echoing. I could see Sora now, the eyes I loved alight with curiosity, but on a much younger face. Riku tossed the fruit to him, and he caught it in one hand.

"A Paopu fruit?" Sora wondered.

"If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined," Riku explained, walking toward the still standing Sora. "They'll remain a part of each other's lives no matter what."

Sora gaped at him.

"C'mon, I know you want to try it."

Sora was defensive. "What are you talking-"

"Ha, ha ha," Riku laughed, passing Sora. As Riku walked away, however, I noticed his eyes flash with jealousy.

The scene shifted, and now Sora stood on the white sand, in the shade next to Riku. "If I win..." Sora said, "uh... I'm captain! And if you win-"

"I get to share the Paopu fruit with Kairi," Riku finished, his face serious and determined.

"Huh?"

"Deal? The winner gets to share a Paopu with Kairi."

"Wha- Wait a minute..."

"Okay, on my count!" I said, raising an arm to start the race.

But then the scene shifted, and I saw something from my own memory. My voice, immature and reproachful, said, "Take this. It's my lucky charm, be sure to bring it back to me." My hands were on my hips.

"I will," he said, smiling and wrapping his fingers around the metal star.

"Promise?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

"Promise."

"...Don't ever forget. Wherever you go, I'm always with you."

Then, we were standing on the edges of two different worlds, our hands interlocked.

"Kairi! Remember what you said before? I'm always with you, too. I'll come back to you. I promise!"

"I know you will!" I cried out with the purest, sweetest faith in my voice. There was no hint of doubt, then.

And then our hands were wrenched apart, and my island began to restore itself, but Sora faded away into the glittering night... glittering with the worlds he had saved, and the worlds that would stand between us for another long year…

The scene shifted, and I could see Sora, older now, standing in front of a train station. The words seemed to echo. But that didn't alter the power in his voice as he said, "I'm gonna find Riku. Then he and I can go back to the islands together. Kairi's there, waiting for us. What are you guys gonna do?"

"Aww, do you have to ask?"

And now he stood on a foggy, seaside cliff, where another nearby couple embraced. I didn't know who they were or what their story was, but very much felt and understood Sora's next words: "Good for them."

Donald and Goofy stood silent beside him for a moment, then Goofy suddenly said, "Hey, Sora, how come your face is all red?"

"What? It is not red!" Sora cried, covering his blush with his hands. I giggled.

"Aw, I know who you're thinking about," Donald said slyly. My heart thudded.

The scene shifted again, and we stood in a place that looked like a town square. It was creepy looking, but sparkling snowflakes were falling, and a couple spun round and round, while Sora, Donald, and Goofy watched.

"Maybe I never gave her a real present after all," Sora suddenly said, looking almost forlornly at the pale brunette and tall skeleton man that danced around the square. He was dressed in a dark, dingy black suit that matched the scenery.

"Who?" Donald asked.

Goofy stepped forward and put his hands on Sora's shoulders. "Aw, I bet Kairi would have liked most anything you gave her," he said.

"I know. That's what made it so hard to decide."

"It's not the gift," Donald said. "It's what's in your heart!"

"My heart..." Sora repeated, staring off into space.

"You bet!" Donald said. "Kairi's like Sally."

"How?" Sora wondered.

Goofy smiled, then said, "Well, as long as she can be with you, what else does she need?"

"Yeah..." Sora said, and for a moment his face fell, and I knew he was wondering if he could give me that gift at all. But then he brightened, and I watched his eyes glow with a faraway look, a warm smile spread across his face. I wished I could see what he could, but then realized that I probably already had. He blushed and laughed.

Then everything changed. "I don't care about any of that! Just let me into the realm of darkness, okay?" Sora was begging, intense pain written clearly on his face.

The man in the black cloak that stood before him stood tall and indifferent. "If it's Kairi that you're worried about, don't. We're taking very good care of her."

"Take me to her!" Sora demanded.

"Is she that important to you?"

"Yeah. More than anything," Sora gasped. My heart ached for him.

"Show me how important," the tall man said. His eyes were cruel, his mouth twisted in a permanent scowl. I noticed a scar in the shape of an X, centered on his face.

And then Sora did something that would have surely broken his proud, valiant spirit. Something that would have cost him more than I could imagine. He got down on his hands and knees, slowly but steadily, and said, "please," in a clear and carrying voice.

"My. You really do care for her. In that case, the answer is still no."

"You rotten-" he snarled, leaping to his feet, once again ready to fight his way into the realm of darkness.

To fight his way to me. To rescue me from Organization XIII. Because he loved me.

And then, a scene from not so long ago, one that I could have easily recalled without the help of Naminé.

"We're - we're back," Sora said, smiling brightly. He was kneeling in the shallow water, my lucky charm in his hand. I stood on the sand, smiling down at him.

I bent over, and extended my hand to help him up. "You're home," I said.

And then he placed his hand in mine, along with the charm, with a certain sense of finality.

In a flash of white light, I came back to the present. Naminé stood in front of me, smiling, her hands at her side.

"Are they all gone, now?" She asked kindly.

"Yes," I managed to choke through my tears. "Yes, they're all gone. Thank you, Naminé."

~o~

"Kairi!" Someone was shouting. "KAIRI!"

I knew that voice from anywhere. It was the only voice that could touch my very soul, could fill every fiber of my being with joy and light.

"Sora!" I called, turning to smile in his direction. _Ouch_, I thought, rubbing my aching jaw. "Sora!"

He was running toward me, anxiety radiating from him. My heart hurt to see it - I'd caused him so much pain already.

He surprised me by grabbing me up in a tight embrace. "Kairi!" He moaned into my ear. "Oh, Kairi, are you alright?"

I flung my arms around his neck, and he lifted me off the ground. I pressed my cheek against his, buried my face in his sweet-smelling hair. This was enough. I could stay like this forever. Eternity.

"Yes," I whispered. "I'm fine."

"Who _was _that?" I heard Wakka shout.

"Someone from Organization XIII?" Sora wondered aloud, pushing me back so he could look at my face. My heart fluttered.

"No," I said, wiping the tears from my face. "She wasn't from organization XIII. She just wore the robe, like Riku and King Mickey did."

They all stared at me, shocked and curious.

"Do you know who she was?" Sora asked me.

"Yes," I said, a little ashamed. "She was my Nobody – kind of. A dark version of her."

"What about Naminé?" Sora wondered. "I thought she was your Nobody." For a moment, his form shifted a little, and I could see someone else in his eyes. Roxas.

"She's fine now," I reassured him. "Restored."

It was quiet for a few moments, as Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie exchanged shocked and confused glances. I looked around, amused by the fact that the island looked exactly as it had before. The sun shone brightly upon the white sand, the sky was a deep, everlasting blue, and the palm trees swayed gently in the ocean air. There was not a trace of the brief but terrifying battle that had happened here - both within, and outside of myself.

Sora was looking anxiously into my eyes, his hands still resting on my shoulders. I ran my hand through his hair, and his eyes closed gently at my touch.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He whispered, his voice hoarse with fear.

"Yes." I touched his lips with my finger. "Better than that, actually."

He hugged me again, and I rested my head on his shoulder with a happy sigh.

~o~

"Okay, this is just stupid," Wakka growled, throwing down his flag in frustration.

It was early afternoon, and the sun shone bright and hot upon the little island. The waves rushed upon the shore, and I closed my eyes and sighed contentedly. Everything was alright now. It had been three days since my encounter with Axeas, and my world was one of complete harmony. But, apparently I was the only one who felt that way.

"I second that," Tidus said, pausing to pick up the bandana on a stick that Wakka had chucked at the ground. "Capture the flag with uneven teams just sucks."

"You guys are such babies," Riku said, rolling his eyes.

"Well, it would help if Sora wouldn't just vanish off the face of the earth," Wakka said defensively. "Now your team has an advantage over us!"

"You guys are still ahead by three points," Selphie pointed out.

"Not for long," Tidus moaned.

Riku gritted his teeth. "We're not pausing the game to look for Sora, and that's final. He's probably just trying to sneak around the island to get into a good position." He turned around and began to walk back to our post. "Just grow up and get back to the game!"

Tidus and Wakka humbly resumed their posts, as Riku could be a little bit domineering when he was angry. But I could hear them grumble as they went.

As we were walking, I tapped Selphie on the shoulder.

"Selphie," I whispered, so that Riku couldn't hear, "I'm going to go look for Sora. Just keep playing without me, okay? No matter how long I'm gone."

She gave me a strange look. "Well, alright, but I'm sure he's fine, Kairi," she said, a little louder than I would have liked.

"I know. I just want to make sure," I said evasively.

"Okay."

I faded away into the palms. It was easy to follow the trail that I had followed so many times before, to the little secret cave on the other side of the island. Like breathing. It just felt natural. Therapeutic.

It was the place I had always gone to think about Sora, to trace the patterns and pictures we had drawn onto the walls together.

I had no idea what would be waiting for me when I arrived there - perhaps just an empty cavern - but I had to know.

A familiar musty smell greeted my nose as I ducked inside the entryway. I walked down the short little hallway and into the big room.

The light was dim, but several rays of sunshine came slanting down from the holes in the ceiling, where patches of blue sky shone brightly. Little particles of dust and dirt swam in the light, and so I knew, before my eyes found the form in the corner, that someone had disturbed this place not long before my arrival.

His hands were tracing over the Paupou fruit that I had drawn a year ago, lingering on the place where it touched my cave-drawing hand. He sighed.

"Sora."

He whirled around, eyes wide. "Kairi," he gasped. "You scared me. Make a little more noise, will you?" He laughed nervously.

I laughed, too. "Sorry."

We sat in silence for a moment, each surprised at the other's presence in this place. How long had it been now, since we were here together?

"I - was just on my way back to the game," Sora explained, standing up and blushing a deep red. He must have realized that I had been watching him. "Are Tidus and Wakka mad?"

"Yeah," I said with a shrug. "But that's kind of impossible to avoid."

He smiled at me, and some of the redness left his face. "True," he agreed.

I slowly walked over to where the rough white lines depicting the two of us stood out on the stone wall. Sora stepped back, his eyes following my every move. I touched the cool stone with my fingertips, then smiled.

"I missed you a lot," I explained, still examining the drawing. "And when I came back, I saw this." I touched the Paopu fruit that he had crudely drawn. "It made me so sad, that I had no way to tell you that I..." I blushed a little, in spite of myself. "I've been waiting a long time to tell you," I finished, then let my hand fall from the wall. "And... here you are."

I looked into his eyes, and he looked bashfully back into mine, then put a hand behind his head and gave a nervous laugh before averting his eyes.

I stood there quietly, trying to enjoy only his company and the sound of his breath, going quickly in and out of his lungs. Though I tried to control it, my heart began to beat away like raindrops pelting the ground during a summer storm. I couldn't help it.

He reached down and took my hands, uncertainly, hesitantly, but tenderly. I looked up at him, surprised.

And then, the unexpected happened, as it sometimes does, to the woes and joys of its victims and benefactors. At first, I was so surprised that I was certain I must be dreaming, for this was something that I'd fantasized about for a year and a half, maybe even longer. It could not happen in real life; it just couldn't.

But now that the doubts were gone, their falsehoods were thrown into the light. My world was shaken as I realized the magnitude of it all. They were _all_ lies.

The substance of my dreams had become reality. Love and light _lived_, now that Axeas was dead.

This I knew, because Sora's long, dark eyelashes were slowly shadowing the depths of his ocean-blue eyes as the lids slid closed in a moment of anticipation; because he leaned toward me, his breath cutting short and the vibration of his thudding heart rocking both of us like an earthquake; because his head was cocked to the side and his lips were searching for mine.

This kiss was not much like our first.

His lips tasted mine so softly, so gently, that it was all I could do to stop myself from grasping his face in my hands and locking my face to his with all the fire that boiled under my skin. The very, very tip of his tongue rested on my lower lip, and he gave a tiny sigh of contentment. His hands slid up my arms and rested upon my shoulders as his lips pulled ever so lightly on mine. Then he pulled away.

We both opened our eyes, and I could see something exciting, something bright and hungry in his. Something that sent my heart galloping. He smiled that smile that I loved, and something in me just snapped.

I couldn't stand the distance between us anymore. It shouldn't exist. It was defying the laws of gravity.

I wrapped my arms around his neck so quickly and so forcefully that he nearly lost his balance and started in surprise, but there was no helping that, now. With a shiver of delight, I brought my mouth to his and tasted of its goodness, smelled his sweet skin and glorified in the tender touch of his hands on my shoulders. I gave a tiny gasp as my hands found the hot skin at the back of his neck. I ran my hands through his hair and held him to me, held him hostage.

And the best part was seeing that he _wanted_ to be my hostage. That he wanted me as much as I wanted him, that I could feel the fire burning through his veins as well as mine, now. It was more beautiful than anything I had ever known, this certainty.

To love and be loved in return.

What could have been minutes, days, or months passed before we resurfaced. I gasped for air and shivered in the sudden absence of his skin on mine, for he had pulled away from me and was looking sheepishly down at the floor.

I didn't let him stand there for long. All I knew was that I couldn't let him leave until I'd had my fill, until his touch had satisfied the wild hunger that clawed at my insides. So I put my hands on his shoulders and slowly backed him up until he was pressed against the heavy wooden door on the wall of the cavern. He looked at me in surprise.

"You're not going anywhere," I tried to growl, but my voice trembled.

He put his hands on my back and held me to him. "Why would I?" he wondered, his voice serious and husky.

"You stepped away," I accused, raising an eyebrow at him.

He blushed again. "I didn't know if you..." he looked at the floor.

"If I what?"

"If you wanted me to... or not," he finished, turning an even darker shade beneath his warm tan skin.

It was silent for a long moment. And then I laughed. Laughed at the absurdity of it all. Laughed at how utterly and completely ridiculous the entire situation was.

Doubts. How had we let such idiotic things enter our minds and hearts?

Sora was defensive as my laughter echoed through the cavern. "What?" He asked warily.

"Oh Sora," I was finally able to gasp. "Of course I wanted you to. That's why I was so upset. I thought _you_ didn't want _me_."

"What?" He exploded. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." He looked at the floor and put his hand behind his head again. "I mean... how could I not..." he blushed again. "You know that I... that I've always..."

"Now I do," I said, putting a finger to his lips. "But I had doubts, just like you."

He looked at me for a moment, then said, "Well that was stupid. You should have just asked me."

I laughed again. "Yeah, I know. You too."

He wrinkled his nose and gave me a crooked smile.

We kissed again, briefly, and it tasted so sweet that our lips met a second, third, and fourth time, until finally we just surrendered to the inevitable.

I held onto him as tight as I could, then sank to my knees, pulling him down with me. He laughed and fell on his bottom, but his mouth wasn't free for long.

I fell back onto the cool earth, and Sora's lips followed mine. For a brief, exciting moment, he straddled me and cradled my face in his hands. I ran my hands through his wild hair, making it stand on end. Our lips moved rhythmically to the synchronized pounding of our hearts.

"Sora? Kairi? Are you in here?"

Whoever the call belonged to did not say it loudly. However, it echoed through the cavern and rang in my ears, and Sora and I both leapt to our feet as though we'd been electrocuted. Sora's hair was still standing on end, his eyes wild.

"Yeah, we're here," I called back, trying to sound like nothing was going on at all. My voice trembled, however.

I could hear footsteps coming down the hallway. Quickly, I stepped over to the wall and placed a hand tenderly upon the old cave drawings, as though I had been doing nothing but examining them. Sora did the same, although he wasn't as good at the acting as I was.

Tidus and Selphie came walking through the entryway, looking around curiously.

"Huh!" Tidus said, gazing around. "I've never been back here before. I didn't even know there was anything here. Hey! Look at all these little drawings!"

"That's what Sora and I were doing," I said quickly. "See, we drew these years ago."

Selphie looked at me suspiciously, but Tidus said, "Really?"

"Yep," I said lightly, trying to draw their attention to myself, since I could see Sora blushing out of the corner of my eye. "When we were little."

"Wow. Huh. I guess that's why Riku told us to look for you here."

"You've been looking for us?" I asked, and Sora and I exchanged looks.

"Yeah. You've been gone an hour," Selphie said, gazing at me with her eyebrows raised.

An hour? "Wow. I guess we just got talking and lost track of time," I said, smiling sweetly. The last part of that was true.

"Well c'mon, let's get back to the game!" Tidus said, tearing his gaze from the cave-drawings. "We've only got a half hour 'til we have to go!"

Tidus led the way out of the cave, and Selphie followed close behind, after giving me another meaningful look. I shrugged my shoulders and followed after her.

I knew Sora was walking behind me, but was still very surprised to feel a warm touch brush across the fingers of my right hand. I looked up at him, and his eyes met mine for a short moment. Then he took my hand in his, and we walked, side by side, out the tunnel and into the warm ocean air.

I smiled at him, and he smiled at me.

We were home.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I hope you'll treat me with a review. :)

~LobaLu~


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